my msn messenger is down for some unfathomable reason and it's pissing me. haha it's back to normal!!

and every time we touch
i get this feeling
and every time we kiss
i swear i could fly
can't you feel my heart beat fast
i want this to last
need you by my side

try as i did, i cant seem to remember how my relationships started, the first instant i realised i felt attracted to him. maybe i should try harder the next time round, if there is a next time. i want to remember that moment so that i have a reference point to look back on, and measure the amount of difference in all the time passed.

yesterday i imagined what if i was hospitalised, would there be a guy who would keep vigil by my side? and i suddenly remember again the important things i have forgotten.. the constants who have all along been in my life. i don't show them enough that i love them, that they are important to me, that i want to thank them for all the things they have done for me in all these 20 years.

i am getting more emotional as i inch closer to my 20th. haha

this holidays is coming to an end, and i'm truthfully glad of it. i know too well that i've squandered this holidays, without really committing to anything except having fun. 3 months of my life is thus wasted, and the feeling that i could have done better gnaws away at my heart.

next year i shall strive not to be a lazy ass anymore. the feeling of worthlessness reeks.

had coca steamboat for lunch today, and we ate lots of balls, shrimp, cuttlefish, fish, beef. plus veggies and dumplings, wantons, fish and beef fillet. the place is nice and the food ain't bad, exc for the beef. yeeew. and we went borders to buy books. haha =p

amazed that you indulged me.

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the irony is that the very things she said to me, i've worried about them before too. i've regretted not working, perhaps spending too much.. worried about whether am i doing the right thing, most of all, saddened by the distance between me and them.

and she said everything out like i was really indifferent and unsensitive to these issues.

she said i changed, maybe. but how could i not? when i'm constantly being pulled apart.

my heart aches, feel hurt. her words, oozing with worry, but every sentence a mock at my sensibility. am i really such a fool?

i wished to say things in my defence, but i am weak and tired. and i know that actions are more important whereas words ring hollow.

a night to sleep early.

not agitated anymore. haha

how can it be that you are with the person but you dont really see him, dont really talk to him? as if the two of you just sat there in each other's existence without really paying attention to each other?

it isn't as sad as it sounds la, but i guess it'll feel a bit weird a bit empty. is this what happens to couples who have been distanced by circumstances?

i don't need to sleep more, but i do, cause i sleep late. if i sleep early, i guess 8 hours is enough. and i won't keep feeling so damn tired.

kinda pissed with blogger, either it's against me, or i'm being ostracised. either way i am getting pissed at uploading that takes ages. and the editing. pissed.

agitated cause i got to sweep the floor, and sometimes that yields no appreciation. cause i want to grumble but people think i'm being unreasonable. grr.

oh well, i plough on.

very busy this week. meeting lots of people, trying to get things done.

meeting gen later, hopefully evan is ok to meet sandra and i tomorrow.. qiuling maybe on fri. haha and school will then be a one week countdown away. GROANs*

to see friends happily in love, happily single, or big time confused, i think we've really all grown up quite a bit.

no longer the silly morons frolicking in the old block, no longer the girls staying back in the classroom during recess to talk.. we've all changed, appearance and thinking wise. but i'm glad one fact remains the same, we're still steadfast friends, who are and will always be there in times of need. little contact, few meetings, it still doesnt change anything.

to have you witness my past present and future, i think i am really fortunate. thanks my girls! =) i love you!

weeinn's back from hk! so the girls we should meet soon ya?=)

met evan today and crapped for 7 hours. but i feel tired out in public, as if i'm not used to the lights and sounds of a noisy crowd. getting old..haha

all that i say to evan i am not going to repeat here. haha between me and her. =p

i miss you. 我想你。

me on the electric tram!tut tut tut
inside the peak tram! too bad cant capture with a nice view behind!
the electric tram!
levis logo.. haha boliao shot..
windy and rainy and misty on the peak!

unexpected day of work, boring more than tiring. bleah. and i smell of otah.

school is starting in 2 week's time? so unprepared.. but soon i am going to meet up with all my girls at least one more time before we all get separated by a semester of mugging. haha

i wish all darling friends who are in love stay happily ever after. haha i don't want to be love counsellor-too frightening. =p

and ql dont shoot me la. haha

the view of the ground below the hotel
the aerial view from the hotel
posing with the peak tram
the peak! proof that i've been there, even though the weather sucked and i couldnt take any nice pics
the peak tramways plague=)

after this trip, i learnt that to live life with another person is really not easy. differences of opinions can arise, and some unintentional words hurt. and now i feel grown up, a little more worldly, a bit wiser too.

to have enjoyed this trip on our own, and to have taken good care of ourselves and each other, i feel a step closer to being an adult. but i guess my dad must be feeling weird, as though i'm already too grown-up to be his little girl anymore.

i can only prove to my family that i'm always their girl and sis. =)

avenue of stars- this thing is supposed to be a camera=p
harbour city, windy and tad drizzling
me in a dress!! haha


cathay pacific flight CX 714 departing on 15 july!!

HI!!! i'm back from hongkong!!! i know i promised photos, lots of them! but you'll have to forgive me, i did quite alot of shopping and basically didnt do enough sightseeing.. haha and give me some time to upload them ok?

i bought a lot of things! jeans, skirt, dresses(OMG!! ) and loads of tops!! bought CDs, bags, stuff for my brother, and first time i spent so much at DFS!!!

well, basically the mongkok-jordan-tsim sha tsui area is the best for shopping, i bought things almost anywhere along the streets. now that the sale is on, it's really quite easy to get good tops for cheap prices=) i recommend granville road, nathan road, nu ren jie. streets seem to yield more stuff for me than shopping centres. check out factory outlets too! i got a nice bag at esprit for a very good price!

for food, you could just duck into any cha can ting, or any stalls that appeal. the food is good but have to be careful of some places that cheat money..

basically in hongkong the main mode of travelling is by MTR and walking, so it's advisable to get the octopus card ( which is similar to our ezlink). these 5 days i really walk till legs break. but the location of ymca salisbury is quite good, can get to good shopping areas just by walking. kinda useful for last day last minute shopping. haha

i will try to post photos soon! disappointed though that it rained when i went to the peak.. oh well, another time! =D

Blogging at the airport!! there's nothing to buy at DFS!!! so utterly disappointing!! flight's at 1105!! haha

the exclamation marks denote my state of ecstacy lol=p take care people!

flying off to HONGKONG in less than 24 hours!! so exciting!!! how to sleep tonight?!!! wahaha i'm going to miss all of you!! miss me too ok!!! aiming to sleep early tonight, cause i will need time to fall asleep in such a state of excitement..

haha and i haven't packed my luggage. worried about my money, transport and safety.. a first trip alone!! without adult supervision! though technically i should be considered an adult.. haha no more orders will be accepted, and i will try my best to bring back the stuff you gals want=D

muacks! lalalala YAY!~!!=)

i cant help but feel like something important is hinging on the success of this trip.. hope everything will be fun!

PSP is sold!!

wa hu lian gan xiung simi ma mai zo, eh sai bo?

something seems to have changed overnight. i cant pinpoint what. but my heart feels heavy, and suddenly unsure.

went back to school to get my camera from mindan, forgot how far the journey was. tired.

perhaps it's cause of the blood, but my enthusiasm for the trip is ebbing.

a down tone for this entry, dont worry, i'll bounce back tomorrow. though i have to reach orchard at 12nn.

the PSP and FIFA game is selling for $350!!! anyone interested?

watched italy kick a perfect penalty shootout at the national library plaza, and walked away with a PSP and a FIFA PSP game.. any takers? i try give discount!! haha

yay!! italy won, rightly deserved, for now i despise zidane.

tata zzzz

the skies suddenly cleared, and i'm happy again. =)

thanks my dears for your concern! hugs*

italy vs france, my ma is buying both sides. haha

i should have stayed in my bed, slept till dawn and perhaps nothing would have happened.

and to top it off, i didnt get travel insurance and my mom's angry.

i cant defend myself for i know i'm wrong. for not discussing my situation with you, for not putting you first. but if i cancel now, i would look so weak.

i dont see an amicable solution.

feeling a bit sad, not for myself though... i'm here, as you know i am.. hugs my dear=)

eh shit la. i lost money! germany won 3-1! buy 3 goals also lose.. haha what can i say? betting needs luck la.. and sometimes gut instinct too..

italy plays france tomorrow, should i bet? haha

my recent entries sad mehz? how come i didnt realise?

nights ppl.. =)

please let germany win 2-1 or 2-0 would be fine. haha i want money!!

yay!! a week left! but i havent packed any thing, and i havent planned the itinerary properly. and i just bought new lingerie. hahaha madness =p

b-o-r-e-d. how to tahan till 3am to watch kickoff of 3rd/4th placing?

i realise there's a part of me that doesn't want to be feminine, or rather if i'm becoming feminine i will feel i'm losing individualism to commercialism. haha abit drama i realise.

i am fortunate to be loved by good people. and i'll strive to be more worthy of their love. nightz people!=) 7 more days! tell me what you want, and maybe some money too! hahaha HUGS*=D

widening gulf. or is it hormonal changes? either way, i feel terribly terrible.

i am grouchy yet again. havent accomplished much that i wanted, much as i wanted to.

and the worst thing, i cant blog about it! roar! nevermind, i shall go find ql talk...

when your words are just words, and mine dont seem to be important, there's two words i want to say. but it so much easier to say than to really do it.

how come we only remember the times someone didnt try, but forgot those times he/she did?

and a good question would be the one you asked, what would happen if i get tired?

forget it..

soup of the day- evan's going to be jealous! hahaha=p

met ql today after soooooooooooo long. so comfortable talking to her, cause we share the same feelings and viewpoints. cause we understand each other. too bad we didn't take any photos. i came home too late to charge camera.

italy must win. my money's on the line! haha 3am match lehz! i suicidal to forgo my sleep.. =p

i said i want my personal time. to me that means simple things. sleeping early, being able to say good night to my family. sitting in front of the tv or computer, doing nothing. i dont know what other examples i can cite, but it's just a feeling.

accepted and accomodated. accepting and accomodating. tired. tiring. hung on, gave up. hanging on.

not sad in the deepest darkest corners of my heart. just feel like i could sleep an eternity, my heart is so tired sometimes.

muacks. nights all=)

but watching out for the entire night is tiring. and i'm a pig. haha =p

yesterday was the first time i watched two matches out in public!! and it was unpredictable! portugal in, england out. brazil out, france in!! and evan was so mad at the brazillians for gei kiang-ing, and imagining they are pro. but the england penalty takers haiz, cannot make it. had two glasses beer, but surprisingly i didn't get drunk. haha.. and i bought breakfast for my mum at 85!! =) it's nice watching world cup together with a whole bunch of people cheering and groaning simultaneously... thanks evan! for your company and safe driving. haha

mum's back to normal, which i hope is a good sign. and i breathe easy again.

i'm always going out when i'm not working, which makes me feel i dont spend enough time with my family. and then when i want to ask permission to go out late or go somewhere, i feel guilty and hence cant ask the question bravely, properly. but i get it when they disapprove or nag, cause if i put myself in their shoes, they just want me to rest more at home, sleep earlier, do something more useful than just going out and spend money.

i don't want to feel that i've let myself down, or neglected some people when i've reached the end of my holidays. i thought holidays should be a time to spend with my loved ones, and be more attentive to them. i want to show my love and concern with actions, not just words. i want to be able to provide comfort or company to friends and family!

i want to be a better person.